You were served with divorce papers. You have 20-30 days (state-specific) to file a Response. Missing that deadline lets the petitioner win every contested issue — custody, child support, alimony, property division — by default. The default judgment is enforceable in court for years. Don’t miss it.
Read the petition top to bottom
Know what you're facing. Note the petitioner, the relief requested (dissolution + custody / support / property orders), and the jurisdiction invoked. The relief in the petition is the FLOOR for default — petitioner cannot get more than what they pleaded if you default, but they can get everything they pleaded.
Calendar the response deadline — TODAY
Most states: 20-30 days from service. CA: 30 days (FL-120). TX: 20 days from the Monday following service. NY: 20 days in-person / 30 by mail. FL: 20 days. Missing this is catastrophic — petitioner gets default judgment on custody, support, property, everything they pleaded.
Gather financial documents
Both parties must disclose finances under most state rules. Pull together: last 6 months of paystubs, last 3 years of tax returns, bank statements (all accounts), retirement statements, deed / mortgage info, vehicle titles, every debt statement. Doing it now prevents discovery sanctions later.
Inventory the marital estate
Make a contemporaneous list — assets + debts, when acquired (premarital / marital), in whose name, current value. Photograph valuables you can't leave with. The court divides everything that's inventoried; what isn't inventoried disappears or gets allocated by default. This list is also discovery-bullet-proof.
File your Response with affirmative requests
Don't just deny — make affirmative requests for what YOU want: custody schedule, child support, spousal support / alimony, equitable property division. The Response is the foundation of every subsequent argument. Filed in the same court as the petition.
Consider mediation early
Most jurisdictions require some form of mediation before contested trial. Couples who approach mediation collaboratively save 50-80% of attorney fees compared to litigated divorce. The catch: don't mediate from a position of ignorance. Gather documents and inventory the estate first.
Temporary orders if needed
For protection (DVPO), child custody pending trial, exclusive use of the home, or temporary support — file motions for temporary orders early. Many divorces functionally settle once the temporary baseline is set. The status quo at temporary-orders becomes the status quo at trial.